Parade of the dead

In full disclosure, I found myself in the midst of rough day of Epic proportions today. In an effort to relieve some stress, I stopped by a golf course and attempted to slam a quick 9. As I approached the first tee, there were 2 dudes standing at the tips. The first guy dribbled his tee shot into a creek that’s maybe 45 yards and left and the other guy “crushed” the ball and watched it travel perhaps 200 yards. I trailed them to the green where they almost sank a couple of 20 foot putts for at least triple bogey. Once again, they went straight to the tips on number 2. This time, creek guy launched a tree bomb that bounced back into play 150 yards downrange and the power lifter once again soaked a drive that wound up around 210 yards. It’s probably worse because of my day from hell but I literally felt like chocking them both with my MAKO. I finally skipped around them just to save my sanity and I wanted to write an angry blog called “Just the Tip” but I decided to cool off and hit the reset button on the day first.

I’m sure you’ve had similar experiences. I remember speaking to a starter a few years ago and he said he often wishes he could film the opening tee shots from each group during the day. He said he recommends certain tee boxes based upon peoples skill level or handicap status. He further stated that most people choose to ignore his advice because they’re prideful and too macho in their own minds. Can you even imagine the viral videos that we could produce with that footage? According to the starter, there have been dribbles, shanks, body shots as well as broken clubs and windows. I’d pay money to witness that Parade of the Dead.

I know it’s a tired and old argument but pace of play might well be tied to ego based tee shots. Unless you’re a scratch golfer and I mean legit, can break par scratch golfer, you might want to swallow your pride and play a set or two up. Also, if you’re a big hitter, go ahead and play it back but allow the other mortals to play it forward. Somehow, someway, we’ve got to break the fascination with the just like the pro’s mentality because believe me, very few will ever be on that level. Let’s also consider the golf course wonder kid. You know, the guy that prides himself on pounding a drive past his 100 pound cousin or his 70 year old church buddy and then flexes his muscles. These are the same guys who are always unavailable when you offer them a chance to hit in even an amateur long drive event. Although there’s a long drive hole in some tournaments, we know that real long drive doesn’t take place there.

This is another reason that we like to mix it up a bit on the course. Driver on a 180 yard par 3 makes for an even playing field because that’s a shot that you just don’t practice unless you’re the guy that I saw tee off from the tips earlier today. Some people say they can only play well if they have a money match and those folks often set up every match or golf trip in their own favor. Just let me ask though, what fun is it to take advantage others simply to obtain a win? If you want to prove how manly you are, all it takes is an entry fee and the guts to swing at an event with the other hitters. Just remember that when you do face able competition, you run the risk of attending your own funeral. Perhaps, more than distance, it’s a matter of skill level.



Shark Attack Golf